Speechless over how criminals think

Where do I start?

Everybody knows what Delhi Gangrape was. How the girl was raped. Beaten. Violated. Humiliated. Killed. We have concluded that those people who did that to her are monsters. They deserve death. The juvenile too. After all, if he is mature enough to rape, he is big enough to be hanged. But what is the real monster? Rapist? Uneducation? Social setup? Mindset?

What gets me in shock is the BBC documentary. Yes, it was banned. I saw the footage on youtube.

Edited to add: The video has been taken down from youtube. It is not releasing in India, as earlier intended by BBC.

For those who have not followed the case or are international readers: On 16th December 2012, a girl and her friend (boy) were going back home after a movie at 8 PM in Delhi. They boarded a private bus which sometimes drop people if their destination falls on the way. The girl was gangraped by 4 men (who were the only people in the bus apart from the driver – all 5 of them knew each other well) in inebriated state (including 1 juvenile). A rod was inserted in her vagina causing her intestines to rupture and part of her intestines was pulled out. Her friend was beaten up severely. And they were thrown out of the bus. The gangrape saw historic protests and a fast-track court was set up. (It is ironic that even in fast-track court, 2 years has passed and the death penalty given to accused men is pending before the supreme court). The rape is significant in Indian backdrop because of the commonly used warnings given to girls in India to not get raped – wear decent clothes (jeans and skirts are automatically indecent). Don’t go out at night. Don’t have boyfriends, etc. BBC had made a documentary on the case, which was to be released in India on 8th March 2015. But they released it in UK on 4th March. The documentary had interview of one of the main accused. And her parents.

After watching the video, the first thing that hit me was “he is not repentant at all.” (the accused) After being sentenced to death. After having seen what the crime symbolizes in India, today.

He still believes that women are responsible for rapes. That women need to be in their limits. they are meant for housework and things like that. That only 20% of girls are good. (Who is he to judge girls?) That she was wrong to travel alone with a boy at night. That it was correct of them to teach her a lesson. He says that giving them death sentence is wrong because now, the rapists will not let their victims live. They’ll kill them.

It also eludes my pea-brain that these people got lawyers to defend them. Who also blame the victim! One of the lawyers begin by saying some complicated stuff like women are flowers, beautiful performance (?!), pleasant. Men are like thorns. Flowers need protection. I am inclined to believe that this was some code language for saying that he knows men like the people he defends, are thorns and deserve to be separated from the society and destroyed!

He also says something more disturbing. You are talking about men and women as friends. Sorry, that doesn’t happen in our society. A woman means I immediately put sex in my eyes. We have the best culture. In our culture, there is no place for a woman.

Yes, take that. Digest it. I’ll give you a short break.

Now, back to the rapist. He has two advises for all the women out there. 1. If someone asks you why are you out so late in the night, it is their business to know. Because they are the upholders of our culture where housework is the work for a woman, not roaming at night. and 2. If he were to rape you to teach you a lesson, you have to let him do that and after that, keep your mouth shut. Because then, you get to keep your life. See, simple? Isn’t it?

There’s another lawyer who says If my daughter or sister engaged in pre-marital activities and disgraced herself and allowed herself to lose face and character by doing such things, I would most certainly take this sort of sister or daughter to my farmhouse, and in front of my entire family, I would put petrol on her and set her alight.

I want to ask this man what does he mean when he says “lose her face and character by doing such things”. What things? Watching a movie? Being with a friend? I never knew watching a movie was a “premarital activity”. Damn my GK. And on second thoughts, I want to slap that man hard. Very hard. Because even if I had a boy friend and we were out late in the night, it is none of anyone’s business, except our parents’.

But the thing that hits the hardest is: Apparently, there are a lot of people with these thoughts. Who would not have raped the girl or killed her but who still place more importance on the girl being out in the night with her friend rather than the heinous rape. The enormity of the problem stumps me. How is there going to be any change when people don’t put the blame in correct places!

We say education is the key. But those lawyers are educated! In fact, more educated than the parents of that girl. But even then, the parents are in favor of equality and those lawyers are not! Why?

The documentary shows that these men have grown up in a social setup where women are not people. Not important. There is domestic violence, there are rapes, there are red light areas, women are submissive, women are lowest cadre in the social setup. They have seen women being used as commodities rather than persons with feelings. So they think “why us”.

How do we remove that? Education? Social education? Where are affordable schools who can teach this? Apparently, the lawyers studied, got educated in schools that could not teach them that women are people. So what kind of an education are we talking about?

I have so many questions. And no answers. I am angry and I am scared.


55 thoughts on “Speechless over how criminals think

  1. A Regular Indian Guy says:

    Dr Satya takes on negativity spewing Indian liberal:
    Nothing could be more demeaning to “India’s daughters”, of whom I am one, than to suggest that we should understand our grandfathers, fathers, husbands, brothers and sons through the views of a convicted rapist, or his ilk.

    And more women are endorsing her:
    In fact the Western idea of beauty is so feudal where there is huge pressure on the woman to look young forever…just as you said. Ironically, rather predictably, our libs here have no problems with that mindset.


  2. A Regular Indian Guy says:

    One girl has the courage to look around through her own eyes:

    What we strive for, a world safer for women, is an evolutionary goal. Evolution needs each of us to build strong steps to climb upon and build the next steps. And this flight to evolution can be built upon strengths and not by blowing up weaknesses. If the documentary makers are indeed interested to contribute to the cause truly, they would be making inspiring videos of those day laborers whose daughters have made good headlines instead of promoting negative stereotyping about cultures that they hardly tapped into. They would be showing the resilient women and supportive men instead of claiming to show mirrors that are not.

    If we are to broadly categorize the Indian men, there are many advancing towards the much awaited gender equal world. They hold dreams for their women and might have fears for them as well. Keep in mind, that rural father or elder brother who sends his daughter/sister to work and study but has a problem with her going to a cinema. Appeal to his vision to broaden even more and call him over to the side of your ideal world . Don’t threaten his roots and push him to the other side, for that would make the world tougher to women and defeat the very cause!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. IndianDrifter says:

    I know how you feel- same way I do and expressed in my blog:


    I always knew this mentality existed but to see it recorded and to look into the eyes of these men. Imagine their wives who protest and defend their crime.. Proves that women are conditioned to believe that men are almighty and above reproach. These wives and mothers who make the situation worse by deliberately turning a blind eye because of years of suppression and lack of education

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The Peaceful Anarchist says:

    Reblogged this on Harmonious Anarchy and commented:

    For all the women in the west who “don’t need femenism” and all the men who believe that sexism and patriarchy are figments of our imagination- please read this. The fight for equality is long from over, and it’s not about us.

    Read the words that actual men said about women. Lawyers, respected members of the community- And their opinions are not alone. Millions of men and women around the world believe that women are worth less than men by birthright, and exist to nurture and care for men while aiding them in all their endeavours and of course; pumping out babies to keep the strongest male lines alive.

    I don’t care that this isn’t taking place here. If someone said that your mother, sister, daughter or girlfriend deserved to be set on fire for disgracing herself (by being out after dark with a man, or going so far as to touch or be touched), would you accept it? What if it was her father, and he said he would do it himself?

    Our sisters need us.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. A Regular Indian Guy says:

    This is how we generalize:


    Liked by 1 person

    • A regular Indian girl! says:

      I beg to differ here. I find that those who have buried their faces in the sand like ostriches don’t want to look at the problems. They tend to avoid the problems and blame the whistle blowers to continue believing that there are no issues. Colonialism or not, the way women are perceived in our society is blatantly wrong. There is nothing wrong in accepting our drawbacks. I am sure you don’t share the thoughts of these lawyers and rapists that women are meant for housework alone. And that for rapes, women are more responsible than men. Please don’t fall into this vicious chain of brushing things under the beautiful carpet of traditions and culture. It won’t help.

      Liked by 1 person

        • A regular Indian girl! says:

          All of this does not reduce the gravity of situation back home. Why is it so difficult to accept that we don’t treat women right? Why do we need to hide behind failures of other countries / organisations and justify the problem in our country?

          Liked by 1 person

          • A Regular Indian Guy says:

            We treat women well
            Peninsular India (except for Muslim pockets) have lower crimes against women than the west.
            Maharashtra has around 3000 rapes for a population of 110 million. UK has 22,000 rapes for 60 million. They don’t generalize UK’s rapes to reflect on their culture — only we, the products of Macaulay education, do so.
            Urban areas with high migrant population have high crime rate.. it is the laxity of our Law-and-Order that causes a lot of repeat crime — this resulted in a crime spike in recent decades. Historically, we had much lower crime rates.


            • A regular Indian girl! says:

              You do realise that when you talk numbers, they are “reported” numbers right? Because not all domestic violence, rapes (including marital rapes), molestation, etc. gets reported in India. We tell our sisters, daughters and wives to hide it because then, how will they get a good guy to marry. We tell our girls “if you are out wearing a jeans and tshirt, sure men are going to harass you. Why do you need to work till late hours? Why do you need to have guy friends – is this our sanskaar?

              And till I read that tweet you sent earlier, I had no idea what colonial thinking was. Or what Macaulayism is. And even after I read it, I don’t agree to a word of it. I am not saying their culture is better. I have not been there, nor am I going there. I am saying our culture is not right.

              Which is the truth. We can hide behind reported numbers and keep hiding the real problems or we can be upfront about it and teach our sons and daughters equality. Freedom. Respect. And that all three of them are mutual for both genders, not exclusive for one.

              Yes, one thing I seem to like about western countries is their open-ness. You wouldn’t find people telling a woman that had she not been out late, she wouldn’t have been raped. There is less victim blaming. If you’d have seen the documentary, you’d know what that is.

              Liked by 2 people

              • A Regular Indian Guy says:

                ” I had no idea what colonial thinking was. Or what Macaulayism is”

                Once they pronounce that everything is wrong with our society, Indian liberals think they are enlightened. Very little urge to learn or understand. Maria Wirth, on the other hand, is a researcher. Her depth of knowledge is like fire. Her blog has a wealth of knowledge — knowledge that will expand horizons, enrich lives. Of course, those loud Indian feminists will never play with such fire. They don’t know her, don’t want to know her.



                • A regular Indian girl! says:

                  Just because I don’t know what Macaulayism is, it does not mean that I am a loud Indian feminist.
                  1. I am not an Indian liberal.
                  2. I don’t think I am enlightened.
                  3. I don’t think everything is wrong about Indian society.

                  Yes. I don’t know who Maria Wirth is. I will look her up and also find her blog. But I assure you, I am not supposed to agree to what she says or writes.

                  Just because sometimes I write about things that I don’t like about our society, does not mean I am against India. So lets not get patriotic about it. I like India as much as you do. I am only ashamed of certain things we do in the name of culture and traditions.

                  Liked by 1 person

  6. The V-Pub says:

    I’ve been following this case through several blogs and I’m shocked and saddened by the thought process of some people. Since when does going out to a movie at 9PM mean that you’re looking to get raped and murdered??? Just awful….

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Soumya Chakraborty says:

    I am not at all shocked at the words of the accused. Because he is clearly a psychopath. A psychopath, unlike we generally consider them to be, are not killers in the first place. Their brains are incapable of generating impulses of emotion. They kill, because while doing so, they don’t feel what we as normal humans would have experienced during the act. Killing a person is an objective, with a reason behind it. Every psychopath has a reason to kill. The matter of the fact is, the reason that they have are psychologically inhuman. A rapist, in a way, is a psychopath. And so is this man.

    But then again, am I supporting the rapist? No. Because what he did was wrong, let alone how he did it. A psychopath is not mentally retarded. He is mentally incapable, with an ill-structured amygdala. But the lawyer? He is the one who seems to egg me on here. And I totally agree to your views on the same.

    When the rapist says that a girl should remain muted while being raped, it comes from a psychopath. Scary, just like every other psychopath. But when a seemingly educated and mentally tempered professional like lawyer has a view which hardly has even a iota of difference of the views of the psychopath, that is when I begin to worry about where we are heading to.

    It is through justice that we will (and must) hang the rapist. It is the same justice which allows such mentally retarded professionals to speak on the behalf of the accused. That, to me, is the eerie paradox, and a reason to worry. And as far as India is concerned, you can’t help it. Because you see, our bulls are more dear to us that the women in our country. We only boast of the longest constitution in the world, and not the most efficiently followed one.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Saya says:

    Reblogged this on Saya..D..Poet and commented:

    Do watch this video that was banned in India about the Delhi 2012 gang rape..see how the perpetrators and their lawyers think…try not to get disgusted..realize how big a battle this is going to be..

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Saya says:

    even if a pre-marital activity includes sex…it is nobody’s business…watching a movie…hanging out with friends is normal stuff..even i have went home late night when we had some party at our college..does it give anybody a license to violate me..?
    this is freedom of speech..?? where has it led us to then..

    Liked by 1 person

    • A regular Indian girl! says:

      True, it should be nobody’s business. But sadly, in India, it is the business of every neighbor, relative and random unknown people. We make it our business to sit on our porches and judge people going about their private lives.

      But if we have a freedom of speech, everybody has. So when the rapist is interviewed. We don’t have to make an issue out of it. We have to be thankful someone did that so we are directed to the real problem that is upon us today. Not rapists. But notion that women are things. Owned by men. Needing protection. And belonging in the kitchens wearing a veil. That is reflected in the words of the rapist and his lawyers. And that is where we need to channel our anger at. The mindset. Not the fact that he was interviewed.

      Liked by 4 people

  10. Akanksha Varma says:

    Truly said. I was stunned by what this guy said. After all this, he still had the guts to say such things? I was shocked at the brutality of it all, which alone should be enough. But, okay, ignore the fact that she was killed two years ago, the fact that they got lawyers for them, that they are still alive, but then his statement should be enough or an immediate death sentence. This is one time I’m truly ashamed of the society we live in.

    Liked by 3 people

    • A regular Indian girl! says:

      We have a good legal system in place. The problem is we don’t follow its intent. The system ensures that the wrong person is not held guilty but the measures put in place to ensure that are used to delay the process of justice.

      And where are we, just 2 years after that incident? Did rapes end? Do we respect women now? Have we stopped commenting “why was she out late?” “why was she in a skirt?”. No. I am also ashamed we live in this society Akanksha.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. Samjoth says:

    I was reading this a few days ago,
    and then reading across the twitter trend #NirbhayaInsulted ..
    And I got sick oh how people to react to all this.
    Just a basic thought here –
    how the hell and why the hell do they want to interview a rapist..!! ??
    I don’t know, I really don’t know what to think and how to think..!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • A regular Indian girl! says:

      Hi Samjoth. I also would never have thought to interview a rapist. But someone did. And in a free world, why should they not?

      On a different note, don’t you think that by this interview, we at least now know that behind these crimes is a bigger battle we need to start facing? One of uneducation, one of mindset, one of gender equality? Leave apart men who commit these crimes because we cannot expect criminals who violate someone so heinously to have senses. But what about others who say “the girl deserved it”. What about the lawyers? What about thousands of others who would have said “only if girls don’t go out late” or “only if girls wear proper clothes”.

      If there is something we need to learn from this documentary, it is not that someone interviewed a rapist. But that by hanging a few rapists, we are not going to change anything. Listen to the man saying in the end of the video “by hanging us, they will ensure that next rapist does not leave the victim alive. They will kill her”. The social setup where they come from don’t consider women as people. He says in the video that it is very common where they live. Domestic violence. Rapes. Beating a woman. Burning a woman. You see the point? They don’t see it as anything new. That is what the documentary highlights. And that is what we need to understand and prepare against.

      I don’t have a problem with a documentary. But with banning it and pushing things under the carpet. We are not going to be able to change anything if we don’t accept we have a problem which is not only about rapes. But which stems from uneducation, poverty, unemployment, social mindset. So much to change. And here we are, crying over someone highlighting it for us, when we were not able to.

      Liked by 5 people

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