Marry a guy who…..


Did you think there are no rules when selecting your husband? That you need to ensure he is a good person and you agree on basic principles? That if he gives you enough independence and enough love to bind the relationship, it is enough?

Well.. You are wrong!

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Facebook just told me I did it all wrong! Simba doesn’t remain awake to look at me smiling in my dreams (so what if I don’t smile in dreams and just lie with my face half buried in my pillow with mouth so open that mosquitos can have a fly-through?!) He doesn’t know how I sip my coffee! I don’t think he ever told me he loves to hear my heartbeats! Though, once he did tell me my stomach grumbles like a drilling machine, but I don’t think that was a compliment! I had a bad stomach that night!

Ok, enough of banter! Quite frankly, I am very appalled by our expectations from spouses! Both husbands and wives! We need to know that romance is not the only thing in marriage and someone who doesn’t want to blink his eyes because he will miss a moment of looking at you is not romantic, it is clingy and obsessive! Remember k-k-k-k-k-kiran? For a change, Bollywood got that idea long back and he turned out to be a villian, didn’t he?

Why can’t we have expectations that are reasonable? Like someone who loves you, not everything about you, but still accepts you the way you are because that’s who you are! Is that bad? He may hate it when you wrinkle your nose but that’s ok because he is not supposed to fall in love with every quirk of yours, nor is he supposed to notice how you blink eyes or how you sneeze or how you poop! sheesh, that’s so obsessive!

A man who thinks every moment spent with you is priceless does not exist. Just as such a woman doesn’t exist. He may select aΒ boys outing over you or his favorite match over you andΒ it is okay. Just as you may select a coffee date with girls or your favorite match over him! (Yes, you can have your favorite match! World cup is coming up, IΒ had to say this)

What I mean to say is “tu saamne baithi rahe, mein tujhe dekha karu” is not possible folks. Neither is it viable. Nor is it healthy. For a minute – may be. Forever seems to be a wee bit psychopathic. πŸ˜› Think about it.

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41 thoughts on “Marry a guy who…..

  1. squawk says:

    Yeah,those things are more realistic and thoughtful things to show your significant other that they’re appreciated. I think that both men and women are taught to expect way too much from each other in both relationships and marriage—-the fact that we get such unrealistic ideas of what those are supposed to be from movies, TV, and social media has a lot to do with it—for one thing, no one person can be everything to you in a relationship or marriage, and relationships with other people in your life are just as valuable as the one you have with your significant other,too.

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  2. SD says:

    In English people “fall” in love. In Indian languages including the widely spoken Hindi, love “happens.” MujhΓ© tumsΓ© pyar ho gaya! #think

    .

    Like

  3. ANooP says:

    A girl who gifts me a superbike and books ticket for watching Isle of man TT would be perfect for me . πŸ˜› Lol

    What you said is so correct! you simply don’t have time to do all of these. A warm gesture of love should be enough, that said I am least experienced with all this shit.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Priya says:

    Absolutely agree. The guy sounds like a psychopath. Yikes! it would make me intensely uncomfortable if someone watched me all night!:) You are right, you don’t HAVE TO love everything your spouse or partner does. You are allowed to find some things irritating. In fact, you can make fun of each other over the weird/eccentric things the other does πŸ™‚ The big picture is important (as you said).
    Having said that though, romance (even though not absolutely necessary) can make life more fun and interesting. Some examples of romance (the healthy kind) –
    – writing a love note and leaving it on the fridge
    – meeting for a lunch date in the middle of a busy work day
    – finding something the other has been looking for for ages ( a coveted book that has been out of print, a certain antique vase, etc.)
    – writing a poem, even if it’s a silly/funny one or even if you are not very poetic
    – giving a massage at the end of an exhausting day or preparing a hot bath with salts for the tired one
    – anything with an element of surprise that makes the other feel loved, that they matter a lot

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    • A regular Indian girl! says:

      Completely agree. Romance is not the only thing in marriage, though it is absolutely important πŸ™‚

      Our idea of romance is finding time out of the busy routine and going away to some place for the weekend. Even if it is a hotel in our own city! And even if all we do there is just sleep and play games! πŸ™‚ Just this weekend, we’re going away to a hotel in a nearby place, not even going to take Happy along. Its our time ❀

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    • squawk says:

      Yeah,those things are more realistic and thoughtful things to show your significant other that they’re appreciated. I think that both men and women are taught to expect way too much from each other in both relationships and marriage—-the fact that we get such unrealistic ideas of what those are supposed to be from movies, TV, and social media has a lot to do with it—for one thing, no one person can be everything to you in a relationship or marriage, and relationships with other people in your life are just as valuable as the one you have with your significant other,too.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. RAMAN says:

    These type of romances do exist.. But only in a fairy tale , or in a very initial stage of relationship.. We humans are not too easy to tolerate.. And If a person keep tolerating your faults with a smile, who still cares.. Isnt it enough? I think only LOYALTY and CARE can compensate most of other things.

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    • A regular Indian girl! says:

      Exactly my point. If someone chooses to accept you with your faults or habits he/she doesn’t like, it definitely is love. Who else would do that for you? πŸ™‚

      And I think fairy tales are stupid! It makes you dream stupidly and wake up with a jolt. Fairytales end with “And they lived happily ever after”. There is no such thing as happily ever after. What they forget to show is that in reality, the life you live daily with smiles, anger, frustration, happiness, fights and making up is what makes it worth it. Happily ever after doesn’t!!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. nancy@thethinkinhat.com says:

    The guy conjured up here looks like a programmed robot to me! πŸ™‚
    And such romance remains trapped in words. Reality is not bad either. But not too perfect (like the guy mentioned above) too! Okay so who is the perfect guy then? I’ll say the one who accepts you as the way you are. Deals well with this fact that you guys are different and embraces the differences. I may sound not so romantic but pragmatic. 4 years of marriage and a daughter did that to me πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  7. nancy@thethinkinhat.com says:

    The guys conjured up here looks like a programmed robot to me! πŸ™‚
    And such romance remains trapped in words. Reality is not bad. But not too perfect (like the guy mentioned above) too! Okay so who is the perfect guy then? I’ll say the one who accepts you as the way you are. Loves that fact that you guys are different and embraces the differences. I may sound not so romantic but pragmatic. 4 years of marriage and a daughter did that to me πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  8. IndianDrifter says:

    Oh so agree.. the notions of romance are best left for words.. in reality there is a lot of taken for granted,some fights and the good and bad… but as long as two people consider staying together as more important than fights and staying apart.. its probably love πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

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