I happen to be one of those people who constantly struggle to belong or to feel accepted. I don’t know whether this can be termed as people-pleasing attitude but sometimes, when I am dazed / impressed by the people I meet / happen to know (and more often than not, these are people with impressionable personalities, you meet / talk to them and you can’t forget their convincing way of talking) It makes me want to say yes to everything they say. Sometimes, I even find myself backing them up, knowing fully well that I don’t completely agree with the thought process!
Sometimes, it is also because I don’t think I would be able to stand up and justify debating a point with people like that.
You know, the kind of people who are never confused about anything, who believe with all their might in what they are saying and cannot be swayed! And also who can put across their views perfectly. I get dazed. Dazzled. Impressed. Intimidated.
And when that happens, I forget what my views are. I know it is stupid but I can’t seem to help it.
And the thing is, such people generally have company which is more or less the same kind. And then, I am crazed with this need to belong to this impressionable group of people!
Does this make me a people pleasing idiot? Or a wannabe? Or what? I don’t know!!!
But since some time, I am working on this. I must remember that there is a reason why I think something. And that it should not change because some seemingly smart people think otherwise.
Or may be I need to work on my ability to discuss / debate. To know how to put forth my views respectfully and convincingly. In past, when I have tried discussing with such people, I have found myself fumbling for the correct, convincing words. That put across what I think, exactly like I think and why I think like that. But I have failed miserably. And when someone else succinctly puts across what I need to say, I feel like it was the easiest thing to do, yet I couldn’t do it. It is possible that I don’t know how to talk coherently. Or that there is some lose connection between my brain and my tongue?
I sometimes don’t make any sense. Like, right now. Phew, I need help!!!
P.S. Sometimes, even my titles don’t belong!!! Like right now!! This one is so out of context, or may be not! I leave it to you guys!!