The struggle to belong!

I happen to be one of those people who constantly struggle to belong or to feel accepted. I don’t know whether this can be termed as people-pleasing attitude but sometimes, when I am dazed / impressed by the people I meet / happen to know (and more often than not, these are people with impressionable personalities, you meet / talk to them and you can’t forget their convincing way of talking) It makes me want to say yes to everything they say. Sometimes, I even find myself backing them up, knowing fully well that I don’t completely agree with the thought process!

Sometimes, it is also because I don’t think I would be able to stand up and justify debating a point with people like that.

You know, the kind of people who are never confused about anything, who believe with all their might in what they are saying and cannot be swayed! And also who can put across their views perfectly. I get dazed. Dazzled. Impressed. Intimidated.

And when that happens, I forget what my views are. I know it is stupid but I can’t seem to help it.

And the thing is, such people generally have company which is more or less the same kind. And then, I am crazed with this need to belong to this impressionable group of people!

Does this make me a people pleasing idiot? Or a wannabe? Or what? I don’t know!!!

But since some time, I am working on this. I must remember that there is a reason why I think something. And that it should not change because some seemingly smart people think otherwise.

Or may be I need to work on my ability to discuss / debate. To know how to put forth my views respectfully and convincingly. In past, when I have tried discussing with such people, I have found myself fumbling for the correct, convincing words. That put across what I think, exactly like I think and why I think like that. But I have failed miserably. And when someone else succinctly puts across what I need to say, I feel like it was the easiest thing to do, yet I couldn’t do it. It is possible that I don’t know how to talk coherently. Or that there is some lose connection between my brain and my tongue?

I sometimes don’t make any sense. Like, right now. Phew, I need help!!!

P.S. Sometimes, even my titles don’t belong!!! Like right now!! This one is so out of context, or may be not! I leave it to you guys!!


38 thoughts on “The struggle to belong!

  1. anawnimiss says:

    Remember the next time you’re feeling particularly dazzled, that for each person you’re in awe of, there’s two more people who think the same about you. And that the person sitting across from you is also in awe of someone else. Remember that in the end we’re mostly the same person, albeit at different stages in life.
    Oh and quick tip – when you’re in an argument, staying dispassionate and to-the-point usually helps!


    • A regular Indian girl! says:

      Hey thanks!!

      But the thing is – I usually forget what the point was! And I find myself nodding and accepting that I was wrong! Maybe, being dispassionate is the key, is it? So it would mean getting rid of the “intimidated” feeling! Tough job, but whoever said it’ll be easy!!! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. story teller says:

    Haha 😀 loved reading this.
    Somehow I’m the exact opposite, the key to being able to pull off a good argument is to listen. Just listen, slightly nod and when the other person is completely done putting forth their views, then you get down to attack.

    Quote what they had to say in their argument to retaliate, never smile and keep saying I agree, it makes you seem like either you are mocking or you have fairly no clue as to what your stance is.

    The biggest key to being successful in any argument is facts and evidence to substantiate, make up any random statistic to support your views..even if you know that you haven’t done any research on the same or are in awe of the other person.

    I usually have a sadu/pensive look on my face while talking to someone whom I admire, it makes me seem in control. 😛 Plus when you talk in short and crisp sentences, nod a lot to let the other person know that you are listening, it gives you time to make up your argument/ view on the same, sarcasm always comes to rescue too and have a slightly threatening glare, it adds to the effect! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Soumya Chakraborty says:

    You see, we were like that right from the time we swam among many others like ourselves, struggling to belong to the egg, and make our way through. As a matter of fact, what you’ve portrayed is an issue even with the “impressionable group of people”.

    Also, I think you missed the “it’s” in the line “I know it stupid”. Rush! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Saya says:

    this is so much in context…its like you were inside my brain or something…here is a fellow fumbler…stumbler…whatever you name it..
    agree with 100% of what you debating skills are rudimentary at best and if I know I can’t win the debate, I let go the topic, agree with the other person, but stick to my views..howz dat for you.. 🙂


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