Men and women, as facebook wants us to believe!

I have read zillion posts on what a woman is on facebook! Today, a new entry found its way in – what a man is! Well, here’s my take:

This is what a woman is:

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well… Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are; Who is earning almost as much as you do; One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as human as you are; One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister hasn’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements. One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life ; One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain ; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,a wife, even if she doesn’t want to ; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her ; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won’t like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you. One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities. Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won’t, simply Because you won’t like it, even though you say otherwise. One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met ; One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her. One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house – your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly – your understanding, or love, if you may call it. But not many guys understand this…… Please appreciate “HER”

This is too long to comment upon individually but hey! Does this sound like: appreciate her if she meets this criteria? To me, it does. It says that the woman you marry should be as much educated as you are + earn almost as much as you do! No matter that she doesn’t know how to cook, she will get up before everyone in the house and take up the responsibilities of a master chef before leaving for work, manage the home when she comes back, take care of your family, who should not learn faster than you because you’d be jealous?!, leave her family behind, leave her friends behind, especially guys because you’d be jealous again!, she should work to make this marriage succeed because well, it is supposedly the most important relationship of  her life! And what are guys supposed to do in return? Give her support (to carry out all of the above, give reminders?), be sensitive (i don’t know how you’re gonna be sensitive if you let her do the above!) And appreciate her!! WTF!

And probably, to counter the above with equally irritating post is this: what a man is!

A man is a beautiful part of God’s creation who starts compromising at a very tender age. He sacrifices his chocolates for his sister. He sacrifices his dreams for just a smile on his parents face. He spends his entire pocket money on buying gifts for the lady he loves just to see her smiling. He sacrifices his full youth for his wife & children by working late at night without any complaints. He builds their future by taking loans from banks & repaying them for lifetime. He struggles a lot & still has to bear scolding from his mother, wife & boss. His life finally ends up only by compromising for others’ happiness. If he goes out, then he’s careless If he stays at home, then he’s a lazy If he scolds children, then he’s a monster If he doesn’t scold, then he’s a irresponsible guy If he stops wife from working, then he’s an insecure guy If he doesn’t stops wife from working, then he’s somebody who lives on wife’s earnings. If he listens to mom, then he’s mama’s boy If he listens to wife, he’s wife’s slave Respect every male in your life. U will never know what he has sacrificed for you. Worth sending to every man to make him smile & every woman to make her realize his worth!

What is he? A sacrificial goat? I read too many ‘sacrifices’. And frankly, none of them are what just men do. e.g. chocolates for sister? Well, my brother snatched from me and I did from him and we love each other nonetheless! dreams for parents? No I don’t think so! pocket money for girl-friend? And girl-friends don’t spend their pocket money? I remember gifting Simba Ray-Ban glasses after saving for it for an entire month! I also remember a friend gifting her boyfriend 21 shirts on his 21st birthday because he was to start his internship and did not have any shirts! So shut up!! sacrificing youth by working late for children and wife? But meanwhile, the wife is doing the above, no? Waking up before everyone, cooking, cleaning, dressing, going to work, coming back, cooking, cleaning! So is she not sacrificing her youth? Building future by taking loans and repaying for a lifetime? Well, nowadays both husband and wife take loan and repay them for their children’s future! And hello, you gave birth to them because you wanted children, right? Nobody has the right to say that I am doing this that for my children and they will have to repay me in my old age! Oh come on! You knew fully well what having children means! scoldings from mother wife and boss? wife also takes it from his and her mother, you and her boss!

If he goes out, then he’s careless If he stays at home, then he’s a lazy If he scolds children, then he’s a monster If he doesn’t scold, then he’s a irresponsible guy If he stops wife from working, then he’s an insecure guy If he doesn’t stops wife from working, then he’s somebody who lives on wife’s earnings. If he listens to mom, then he’s mama’s boy If he listens to wife, he’s wife’s slave!

All this are Patriarchal stereotypes which exist for both men and women. And hence, Patriarchy sucks! Men, get it? We need to forget what people will say when we exercise our choices! And be responsible and fair in our relationships with each other, both husband and wives. And yes, don’t forget to show the middle finger to anyone who tells you shit like this!

I don’t think anybody should have the right to dictate your financial decisions (after you and your spouse have discussed and agreed upon something). Who stays at home, who does the grocery, who puts the laundry and who takes the kids to school is not a gender-specific job. Just like who works/earns, who takes the car to the garage, who runs errands isn’t. Respect your spouse not because they carry out things that gender stereotypes tell them to, respect them because of he/she is a good person. Why should anything other than being a good person, compatible, fun to be with be a criteria for respecting/appreciating your spouse! Right?

Am I wrong? This post may sound all messed up because I want to write so much on this. But I end here. Please let me know what you think!


33 thoughts on “Men and women, as facebook wants us to believe!

  1. anawnimiss says:

    I think the problem is that we’re glorifying the idea of ‘sacrifice’ – it’s the common thread between all these posts. Compare these posts with posts about moms and dads.

    So what these people (and I don’t even know which people float such stupidity on the interwebs) are insinuating is that unless you’re putting your own life/desires/dreams on hold.

    What a load of crap!


    • A regular Indian girl! says:

      Exactly!!! Unconditional love and selflessness and sacrifices are glorified beyond the capacity of any human being to keep up to!

      I mean is love not enough? What is unconditional love anyways? If X and Y are in a relationship and later X comes to know that Y is a serial murderer on prowl, Bollywood tells us that X has to keep loving Y. Why? Because, unconditional love! Isn’t it bullshit?

      The problem also is that books and movies and tv-serials romanticise things that should not be. Beautiful heroines in love with stalkers, gamblers, thieves, gangsters! The ma-ka-dil which always knows that deep inside somewhere in his heart, the son is a good human being!! Damn it! We even romanticise domestic abuse sometimes!! Just too much!


  2. ANooP says:

    Confusing post, Indian gal. I don’t know whom to support now, Men or women?? 😛

    I liked the post. But I did sacrifice my ice creams and chocolates for my little sis… She was very young and I remember her having very bad tooth at very young age due to that. 😀

    Have a great day.


  3. sb2711 says:

    So true….recently I blogged about how people post things as feminism and all that….These circulate all around and are “liked” by people who can’t even see what lies beneath all that!!! Very well interpreted 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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