Marriage under wrong identity, domestic violence, attempted forced conversion and repercussions


What are we talking about?

It is about a marriage under wrong identity. A muslim man presenting himself as a Hindu man for marriage to a Hindu Girl.

I promise this post is not about spreading religious disharmony. But this is something which really shocked me.

A muslim man, Rakibul Hussain, wooed a national shooter from Jharkhand for some weeks under the Hindu name, Ranjitkumar Kohli. Talked to her while she practiced. She fell in love with him and they got married. After marriage, sheย came to know of his true identity.

She was forced to convert and accept Islam, which she resisted. She was beaten up, kept under confinement and tortured to accept the conversion. Somehow, with help from a maid, she could contact her family when her so-called husband was out of town and was taken away.

She has registered an official complaint against her husband.

My obvious first reaction was shock. After some minutes passed by, I realised why should anyone, be it man or woman, trust what is told to them? I am sure there might be many such cases. Wrong identity, incorrect education details, incorrect family details, covered up incidents, hidden medical facts or many other. And these happen in arranged marriages as well.

I am sure we can mitigate some of these shocks by taking cautious decisions. Not jumping forward ignoring some concerns. I am not saying we can know everything. But sometime to know the person, their families, their work-colleagues, their friends will reveal most about a person. i.e. education, work position, identity, family values, etc.

I might draw flak for “victim blaming” but that is not what I intend to do. Neither is this post against Muslim people nor against men. I don’t want to get into generalisations regarding gender or religion because these things happen irrespective of them.

I think we should be aware about consequences of blindly trusting people.

I think take time to know people. Meet their family over a period of time. Meet friends, colleagues. Don’t jump to marriage. That way, you also get a bonus – the blissful courtship period!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ And your chances of being duped are reduced, except if you have involved yourself with a crackpot who has set up aย maayajaalย (trap) to get you, in which case, you can contact Sherlock Holmes! Just kidding, but most issues can be avoided. Better to be safe than sorry right?

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21 thoughts on “Marriage under wrong identity, domestic violence, attempted forced conversion and repercussions

  1. weight2lose2013 says:

    What an awful story! That man was conniving. I think that when we think that we’re in love, common sense sometimes is disregarded. I know this personally when I advised my brother not to get married to this woman. It was clear to everyone except him. Thank you for raising awareness on this topic.

    Like

    • A regular Indian girl! says:

      And yet Anoop, this post is not about that. It is about growing beyond religion. We don’t have to harmonise over religion. Infact, why discuss religion at all when we know how well we fare with that.

      Instead, we could just take away that such duping occurs – gender / religion does not determine who dupes and who gets duped.

      It is indeed a sorry state when all the newsmakers do is go looking for “sensational” news of the day.

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  2. noorlaila265 says:

    What a horrible man. This marriage wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) be recognized under Islam anyway because he was providing a false identity and she was forced (again not allowed but the lines get so blurred as always). When I find my conversion the Imam actually rejected it because he felt I was converting for marriage pressure instead if from my heart. I had to go back a second time. I guess if depends on culture and country! Can’t believe that there are people who would do this. Why not just tell the truth from the start. Interesting read,thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • A regular Indian girl! says:

      Hey, thank YOU!

      I agree that it depends on culture and country to an extent. But I also think it depends a lot on how we react to it. Coming from a country where this issue will be beaten as a religious issue, I feel we fail to draw the obvious. This can happen anywhere anytime. Had this been a case of hidden education details or a jobless person impersonating a well-paid employee status, or even hidden existing marriage, this case would not have gotten as much media coverage.

      And thats what irks.

      But hey, thanks for stopping by! I’m surprised by you having to go second time to get married! Thats pretty good of the Imam! ๐Ÿ™‚

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      • noorlaila265 says:

        I agree but unfortunately many people only see what they want to see! If this happened in the UK(where I’m from) the media would have a field day, but if a white (non-Muslim) did it this would barely be talked about. Even if the person was any other religion – Buddhist, Hindu, Catholic, it would not be portrayed as a religious issue in my country, only if it was a Muslim would it be a big deal!

        In your opinion do you think that India’s political status (and new leader) will give rise to more news articles like this and do you think anti-Islamic propaganda is on the increase already?

        Yes I must admit I was I was pretty shocked when he told me to go away and think about it, but looking back I am proud that he did ๐Ÿ™‚ x

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        • A regular Indian girl! says:

          I don’t think it is anti-islamic as may be portrayed. Infact, there are different groups, both in media and in political parties. There are some which will make an issue if an Islamic person is wronged and some which will make an issue if a non-islamic person is wronged. It just has to be Hindu Muslim issue and it will be blown out of proportion by either group.

          There isn’t any anti-islamic agenda. And contrary to what the media has shown for several years now, the people in Gujarat have grown, both Hindu / Islamic, under the same person who is now the new Indian leader. Yes, there have been riots, but so have the riots happened in other states. Only the one in Gujarat was given as much media coverage. I cannot know why. And yes, there is the same Hindu Muslim tension that always was. But contrary to what may seem, the new leader is not anti islamic. Or he wouldn’t have gotten the clean sweep majority, the first in India since 1984!

          The media needs to grow up. Stop portraying things in religious scanner. But again, there will be bad elements till the time we feed them. If the people want to read news that are “sensationalised”, the media will keep giving them. Its a vicious circle.

          Liked by 1 person

          • noorlaila265 says:

            Its very interesting to hear – obviously being in the middle east I only get one side of the story (as there is a very biased media here!) so I wanted to ask from someone who is there! I am going back to the Uk for 3 months this week, and I am very interested to see how differently the media portrays things. I know from growing up there what my impression was of certain cultural aspects, for example, arranged marriages, which has completely changed since living on this side of the world.

            As you said, if people continue to want to read sensationalized media then that’s what they will keep being fed! I hope to read more posts like this from you, its refreshing to see the other side of the story!

            Like

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