So I have mentioned somewhere earlier but for the sake of repetition and adding a few more words to my post, I say this again: Me and my husband are chartered accountants. (The number crunching people with big glasses, fat tummies, almost-sheldonish behavior minus the fun and no life!! Well, thats how people imagine us to be, at least) Rest assured, this post is not doing to drone you with his tax and accounting accomplishments!
So when we complete our studies (which may take anywhere from 3 years to 13 years!), we go through a GMCS course. i.e. General Management and Communication Skills, meant to improve us in the said skills, but most of the times, end up as a realisation that how the generalisation might be true afterall! Accomplished CAs – don’t come to lecture us, since they have better things to do. And non-accomplished, self obsessed and smug people come and bore us with things like reports and professional life and “how you are meant to go out and win” without giving the explanation for so many CAs who have passed out but don’t have a good career or why we lag behind the cool MBAs who have had all the time in the world to enjoy college life while we were burning our fat asses off the bulkier books.
Most of the times, it is taken for granted that CAs who will come will bore the shit out of you and non-CAs who are accomplished will make you have amazing fun and share wonderful stories!
My husband fits in the CA category (without being a bore). And he has always had a passion for teaching, has been guest lecturer in his own university after passing out, has a rept with both the lecturers and students, blah blah, the usual wife-appreciating-husband-more-than-he-deserves-things 🙂 (they are true, though!)
And, he volunteered to take up a session of GMCS for each batch in our city. So he enters, the students know he’s a CA and have already planned to talk about better things on their whatsapp group i.e. which girl / boy is hot and whom to ask out for dinner, etc! Husband has been given a topic about World Trade Organisation – certified boring! I thought he is going to come home grumbling about the topic and the response! But he comes and is amazingly happy, his phone continuously beeping with messages from students asking him to be friends and join their whatsapp group! The biggest compliment being “not even one message on the batch whatsapp group in his whole 3 hr session!!” Whoops! Thats something!
The trick was WTO in brief and life lessons he has learnt in details! And we come to the aim of this post –
My husband used to be a strong supporter of Patriarchy as the way of life and Indian culture bla bla, without knowing how it affected the women. He had seen his mom leave her super awesome medical practice and become a housewife, sacrifice her dreams over her family’s and live her life on the terms of her husband and one that suits her son. Naturally, husband had come to believe that is how a girl’s life should be! But I am a certified big-mouther on equality. I crib and complain about why my life has to change so much after marriage while he is still the same. (Call me a bitch!)
Being married with me has changed his perspective to an extent (oh, I am humble, give no credit!). And he swept me off my feet by telling me that he actually, from his own mouth, told the students, especially the girls, how to assert equality!! How today, there are issues with our society, but how, they can assert their right to work, to rise the corporate ladder. Something touched me:
He told that when CA results are out, the percentage of girls that have outperformed or outshone the boys is very high and intimidating. But somewhere down the years, the girls disappear, no more competitive, no more interested in rising up. And he told the girls that equality is not only when you fight for your right to go out and work, but also when you work like you want to, without letting those fights affect your performance. It is about going out and addressing 1000s of male listeners in WTO and not working for the sake of it. He urged them to have the courage to live their dream.
I think he gave a subtle hint to me also! I got an all india rank in my CA exams. But somewhere down the years, I have become a regular employee, wanting to finish her work, take the regular salary and go home. I work, I take pride in it. But I have lost the zeal with which I used to study. The need to outperform. The wish to excel. All those have gone down the drain.
He made me introspect. And I agree. When we fight for our independence, our rights to work or any rights for that matter, and achieve them, we somehow lose the energy to do anything more. We work, but not with the excitement of student years. We crib and complain and bask in our difficulties. But fail to do what we had dreamt of while completing our studies. And this is a food for thought, for me.
And for him, I am so proud! Him talking about equality is like Lalita Pawar talking about s*x!! But he did it! And I am so happy!!
On that note, here is a video for all of you:
We should be more confident in ourselves and we should really bring back that undying spirit of student years. We should know ourselves better! Ladies, buckle up and rock the world!!! 🙂